DIVORCE: Breaking Agreements When We Move (Part 2)
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder…Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19:6,9)
Matthew 19:3-9 seems to focus on what qualifies as grounds for divorce. And what are the repercussions if we do not abide by this law? The King James Version states to 'put asunder' meaning to separate, divide, depart from, or even divorce one's spouse. A Pharisee subtly asks Jesus whether one could dismiss or send away their wife for any reason. Jesus responds by saying, God made them man and woman, and He joined them as man and wife, do not break apart what He has put together at all. The Pharisees replied with partial truth, saying, well then why did Moses say we could divorce and put her away? The Lord stated that this writing of divorce was allowed due to the man having a hardness of heart toward his wife. However, this was not an option in the beginning when God made man and woman. The Lord goes on to affirm the divinely inspired law of Moses as part of the law of God. Jesus clarifies what has been granted one with regard to our marital unions. He states on what grounds dismissing a spouse was acceptable (See Deut. 24:1-4).
A union that is “put asunder” divided due to fornication or sexual immorality is also divided by fornication. Fornication can lead to divorce, or fornication can be the effect of divorce. It is adultery when marital unions are divided by way of fornication. It is no secret that sin separates us from God (See Isa. 59:2). It was the very reason for Christ having to redeem us. Likewise, sin can cause disunity and lead to bitterness and even hatred in a marital union. In this union, a man is to love his wife as his own body (See Eph. 5:28), not as a separate entity but as belonging to him he is to cherish her, he is responsible for her, and they are one flesh. She is as his own body. However, when fornication or sexual immortality comes into a marital union and remains, it proves to be without repentance, and the union is divided. Moreover, what the scripture says about fornication, in my opinion, does not exclude a marital union but adopts it. When the word says, “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.”(1Cor. 6:18). The scripture goes on to imply that if one sins against their body (that house), then they sin against that which lives in that house given to them from God, even as they do not belong to themselves but God, having been purchased by God. Holy matrimony is so important because the two become one.
Therefore do only with your bodies what He says to do and flee fornication, “...glorify God in your body, and in your spirit [which belong to Him].”(1Cor. 6:20). To do the opposite would be to sin against God, and in a marriage, they can either sin together by way of practicing, supporting, or becoming desensitized to that which is sexually immoral, or endure the process of becoming separated again in intellect, emotion, and will, and physically severed apart. Whether it is fornication within the marriage or through divorce and remarriage to another leading to fornication, only through fornication can this union be broken. Jesus does not call one an adulterer for being divorced. Except for fornication in marriage leading to divorce, if anyone is legally divorced for another reason and has remarried to another, this is adultery. If one can be termed an adulterer after being legally divorced and remarried, then it is not through our papers alone that God acknowledges that a separation has taken place. It is also in that the union has split through the thing that is not permitted. For it to stay together, fornication must not be present. We are not talking about fornication that has been confessed and repented of. Rather periodic acts of sexual immorality, in which there is evidence that there has been shifting.
Continual discord seems to mark every conversation if there is conversation. One or both parties are moving about as if they had no responsibility to the other as if they were single and not joined. You have then heard from the Lord in whom you have actively desired to please in your home and marriage while this spirit of discord has lived there, and the acts have been ongoing, God will give you your very next step. After you have without ill intent or selfish motive, ardently prayed for your spouse's deliverance and the softening of their heart toward God and you, to no avail. Then will God instruct you in the night season. Having watched the both of you from start to where you are now, and knowing the hearts of all men, God will give sound counsel.
Jesus says, "Let no man put asunder". Having a spouse dismissed, let go, or released for reasons other than fornication in marriage and marrying another person is adultery. If you do not remarry another, you still create the possibility for your other half to commit adultery through availability when separating or divorcing your spouse without any sexual misconduct occurring outside the marriage. In addition, if another marries someone you divorced for any reason other than fornication because the remarriage will result in fornication, the one marrying your ex is considered to be in adultery. This is because your former spouse is still attached to you in the eyes of God. Improper behavior with regard to nakedness outside your marriage is already considered adultery in your heart. Many have failed to obey this law “Let no man put asunder”. (See Mt. 5:31-31; Mk. 10:2-12; Lk. 16:18)
God is gracious. Those whose marriages have ended in divorce, whether due to fornication or any other reason, should seek the Lord. If you or they have not remarried another, ask the Lord whether you are still married to them. If you have in times broken the laws that outline what adultery is, know that He is more than merciful and loving. How the Lord sees you is the only thing that matters. Through sincere repentance and faith in Christ, you have been REDEEMED.
Christian Youtube channel worth checking out is titled: Traditional Femininity. This channel by Bindi Marc does not advocate for divorce or even separation, but rather on how wives can better their marriages. The two links below are relevant to the topic of sexual immorality/fornication in marriage. (Not clickable links, please copy and paste in browser)
Husband refuses intercourse: https://youtu.be/8l_g9fLbUhc
Wife refuses intercourse: https://youtu.be/6odzl6oGIDs
